What to Do When You’re A Saver & Your Partner Is A Spender
Not agreeing on money is a flaw that can ruin a relationship or marriage. In fact, research studies have shown that money stress can lead to decreased satisfaction in your relationship.
While that doesn’t mean you’ll be heading to divorce court soon, it’s never advisable to have added stress if you don’t need it.
So what do you do if you are a natural saver and your partner is a spender? These tips should help!
Openly Discuss Your Finances
First things first, talk about your finances! I honestly believe that many relationships and marriages have issues because no one seems to communicate anymore. How is your significant other supposed to know that you don’t like their random purchases if you don’t tell them? How are you going to understand their impulses if they don’t talk to you?
Finances are a topic that every serious relationship needs to discuss. Talk about your debts, your financial goals, and even your bills. That way, each of you knows what the other one wants and needs to make the financial aspect of your relationship work. You can even make your financial discussions a date night!
Create A Budget
Once you know the basics of your financial situation as a couple, it’s time to create a budget! Now, if your partner is a spender, they will be hesitant to start a budget. That’s perfectly normal. Your budget doesn’t have to be extravagant or super detailed, but at least make sure you have all of your income and expenses are written down. That way, your partner will know what is going in and what is going out on a normal basis.
At this point, you can create little changes to help your spender feel a little better about their purchases. For example, if you know your partner likes spending money on candy, give them a weekly budget. You can both decide how much is acceptable to spend, but giving them this amount will work in your favor two ways:
- You won’t have to worry about them hiding purchases from you or overspending
- They can still enjoy spending a little cash each week.
Also, create a budget that includes some type of savings. It doesn’t have to be hundreds of dollars every month, but choose a good number with your partner. Agree that this money is to only be touched in an emergency, or for something that you are both specifically saving for.
Stop Trying To Change Your Spender
While spending money on things you don’t need may seem like a waste to a natural saver, a spender just thinks differently. People can change their financial habits, but you forcing your significant other to change will only create friction in your relationship.
If your partner is a spender, give them a little grace. Many of them were never taught how to manage their finances. Some spenders were raised in a household where one or both parents were spenders as well.
If you are communicating and managing your finances together, there shouldn’t be much room for your significant other to make any huge mistakes. Help them when they need it, but never force them into a situation that could cause resentment. If anything, be the example they can watch and grow with. You never know, they may just follow in your footsteps.
While it isn’t fun trying to deal with someone with a personality much different than your own, there are ways to manage your finances as a couple and still have some fun. Choosing ways to satisfy you both will keep you, and your partner, happy for years to come!
Have you had to deal with financial friction in your relationship? How did you handle it?
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